Xanadu! Xana-Don't! Xana-Never Should Have!
So, Cell Phone Boy came over tonight. And continuing with the Roller-Camp theme of the weekend, he brought over XANADU! Neither of us had actually seen it before, just referenced it repeatedly. And let me tell you…
If you’ve never seen it before, go rent it now. For, if you don’t, you will never know how bad it is. You will never really understand how much I am not exaggerating when I say that this movie epitomizes everything that is early eighties rock musicals. And not necessarily in a good way.
Cheesy Special effects.
Obscure musical numbers.
Odd Animated 'Fish' sequence?
Grasping at straws for some sort of plot line.
Bad segways. (Really REALLY bad!)
All around... Good Times!
So, here are the basics: Olivia Neutron-Bomb plays Kira, a muse, daughter of Zeus, one of eight sisters. You know what it’s like. Well she… muses (?) Sonny (Michael Beck of nothing else fame) into opening a new bandstand / roller rink / rock hall. His partner, Danny (the amazing Gene Kelly – who apparently only did it because they were filming close to his home, so he could still spend time with his family) we discover, was also once… mused (?) by ONJ, back in 1945. And, well, that pretty much sums it up.
There are, essentially, no musical numbers in the first 30 minutes, but then the last 60 is ALL musical numbers. They're so bad, they're good. It has more camp than summer. It has more cult status than Kabbalah, Scientology and David Koresh combined.
Xanadu: Where magic stops and the time never ends.
Wait, I think I got that backwards.
Grasping at straws for some sort of plot line.
Bad segways. (Really REALLY bad!)
All around... Good Times!
So, here are the basics: Olivia Neutron-Bomb plays Kira, a muse, daughter of Zeus, one of eight sisters. You know what it’s like. Well she… muses (?) Sonny (Michael Beck of nothing else fame) into opening a new bandstand / roller rink / rock hall. His partner, Danny (the amazing Gene Kelly – who apparently only did it because they were filming close to his home, so he could still spend time with his family) we discover, was also once… mused (?) by ONJ, back in 1945. And, well, that pretty much sums it up.
There are, essentially, no musical numbers in the first 30 minutes, but then the last 60 is ALL musical numbers. They're so bad, they're good. It has more camp than summer. It has more cult status than Kabbalah, Scientology and David Koresh combined.
Xanadu: Where magic stops and the time never ends.
Wait, I think I got that backwards.
posted by Lance Morrison @ 1:07 AM
4 Comments:
Hard to find, but 7-24 has it.
I agree. Even worse that rent. And that is saying something for me...
Blasphemous Blasphemer!
You are a silly, uncultured, unemotional man, and have no heart.
RENT was a great movie with a great story, and your butt smells like cheese!
Glad you agree about Xanadu though.
So funny. After Xanadu I developed a huge baby dyke crush on ONJ that lasted for years. I haven't seen it since then, but I remember it being magical. :-)
Thanks for the recent comment-love, and strangely enough, your femme lesbian friend found me some time ago too. She seems wicked cool.
Have you read my local Boston GWM pal "Troll Spotting"? By the looks of your blog, I think you'd like him.
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