Monday August 28, 2006
Back to reality. Back to moving. Back to the tedious, tiresome, toil that is my week.
After a quick cup of coffee, was off to fetch Cousin Janet, co-founder of ‘Sandy Pants Construction Company’. The day looked like this:
- Pick paint.
- Realize you forgot all your ‘Canadian Tire Money’. Curse your fate for having to spend the extra $4.65 or ‘real’ money.
- Head ‘home’ with fresh Starbucks Venti Vanilla Non-fat Latte’s.
- Fill any holes. Sand and wash all walls.
- Have The Landlady come down with more Latte. (Bless her!)
- Paint on a liberal first coat of ‘Almond Wisp’. Make the obligatory joke about me being allergic to almonds, and breaking out in hives.
- Wash up and go for lunch.
Note: This is when Cousin Janet got me drunk. Not only did we share a pitcher then 2 extra pints of beer, but we stopped at the LCBO on the way back for another 6 pack. Oh… this is going to get interesting.
- With the utmost of concentration, we painted on the second and final coat.
- Begin cleaning apartment. And I mean C-L-E-A-N! Cupboards wiped down (“I Love Bleach” exclaimed Cousin Janet), floors swept and mopped. Fridge wiped out. Oven and stovetop scoured. Toilet and shower scrubbed. You could really eat off of any surface in the place.
Once we were satisfied with our work (read: To fucking tired to go on) we had The Halfaneese and Cell Phone Boy come over with snacks… and more beer. CJ and I collapsed on the floor. Our hair a mess, clothes sweated through, a mixture of paint, dirt, dust, cleaning products, and who knows what else on our newly blackened feet. We were mere images of our professional beauty industry selves.
After a lovely dinner, Cousin Janet and I fell asleep on the subway. Hugging each other. Nestled into each others necks. Drooling on one anothers shoulders. Barely conscious of the subway stops as we listened to the gentle hum of the train and the voices of the other passengers saying, “Look at those two bums over there. They’re filthy and they smell and they’re passed out drunk on the subway.”
Hopefully some of them read this and understand the truth.
After a quick cup of coffee, was off to fetch Cousin Janet, co-founder of ‘Sandy Pants Construction Company’. The day looked like this:
- Pick paint.
- Realize you forgot all your ‘Canadian Tire Money’. Curse your fate for having to spend the extra $4.65 or ‘real’ money.
- Head ‘home’ with fresh Starbucks Venti Vanilla Non-fat Latte’s.
- Fill any holes. Sand and wash all walls.
- Have The Landlady come down with more Latte. (Bless her!)
- Paint on a liberal first coat of ‘Almond Wisp’. Make the obligatory joke about me being allergic to almonds, and breaking out in hives.
- Wash up and go for lunch.
Note: This is when Cousin Janet got me drunk. Not only did we share a pitcher then 2 extra pints of beer, but we stopped at the LCBO on the way back for another 6 pack. Oh… this is going to get interesting.
- With the utmost of concentration, we painted on the second and final coat.
- Begin cleaning apartment. And I mean C-L-E-A-N! Cupboards wiped down (“I Love Bleach” exclaimed Cousin Janet), floors swept and mopped. Fridge wiped out. Oven and stovetop scoured. Toilet and shower scrubbed. You could really eat off of any surface in the place.
Once we were satisfied with our work (read: To fucking tired to go on) we had The Halfaneese and Cell Phone Boy come over with snacks… and more beer. CJ and I collapsed on the floor. Our hair a mess, clothes sweated through, a mixture of paint, dirt, dust, cleaning products, and who knows what else on our newly blackened feet. We were mere images of our professional beauty industry selves.
After a lovely dinner, Cousin Janet and I fell asleep on the subway. Hugging each other. Nestled into each others necks. Drooling on one anothers shoulders. Barely conscious of the subway stops as we listened to the gentle hum of the train and the voices of the other passengers saying, “Look at those two bums over there. They’re filthy and they smell and they’re passed out drunk on the subway.”
Hopefully some of them read this and understand the truth.
Note: I have some great photos of the day, bt can not seem to upload them onto blogger. Grrr.
posted by Lance Morrison @ 12:32 AM
1 Comments:
ooh, ooh!! I've always wanted to know a real bum on the subway, but the bleachy smells might give ya away, plus, knowing you, stylish shoes likely were on your blackened feet.....
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