Four Weddings and a Funeral.

It’s coming pretty close to the one year anniversary of The Croatian Sensations wedding, and I still have not written about it. Even though I promised her sister, Fat Girl (Her blog name, not what I call her... she is not a fat girl, nor would I ever call someone that) that I would write about it. Oh, how I planned it so thoroughly. Oh, how I selected the photos. Oh, how I never sat my ass down to get it all together.

Then, I went to another wedding. Another dear friend, in Edmonton.

Then another. Two great dentist friends here in Toronto.

Then, suddenly, a friend passed away.

And now, in five days, I will be cruising Lake Ontario and watching another friend wed the man of her dreams.

It’s just like the movie... in the same order too, I think.

So... we’re gonna do a quick All-In-One. No photos, just my words of love.

The Croatian Sensation & The Dog Whisper – September 23, 2006:

You are two very great people. Your wedding was beautiful, and I will remember it always. You looked beautiful... so did your bride (hee hee). Seriously, the whole day was so amazing; from you being late to your own place, right down to the drunken homosexual hairdresser that took over the dance floor (who was that, anyway?). I had a blast, and The Boyfriend and I still talk about what a perfect wedding it was. Hell, how many wedding do you get to go to and have 30 000 people cheer the first official presentation of The Bride & Groom. We thank you so much for having us there to be a part of your day.

Chris Squared – November 18, 2006:

I can’t even begin to tell you how special you made me feel by having me at your wedding. I was honoured that you felt so strongly about having me there. I often cried when I thought I was not going to be able to make it, but you guys made it possible. You are one of my oldest friends and you have always been such a brilliant source of joy and happiness in my life. Your wedding was so spectacular, but the whole week will be one that I will never forget. Meeting your friends, bonding with Little Guy, spending time with your family, watching your big, macho, heterosexual brother cry like a four year old sissy girl. It was all too perfect. I can never, ever thank you enough. (PS: Thank you so much for the beautiful watch. PPS: No matter what, I am always a phone call away.)

The Dentists – May 19, 2007:

My god! Was I ever sick! I felt like dying. Why the hell did I ever get a cold two days before your wedding? Everyone looked so gorgeous/handsome (even that groomsman who’s tux was too small) and I had snot running out of my nose and runny eyes - maybe people just thought I was crying a lot. It was amazing to watch you both be so relaxed about the whole thing for the past year and a half, and so nonchalant, but then have the evening turn out so spectacular. You are both wonderful people and I am honoured to call you friends. I wish you both all the happiness and love you have shown me. (PS: Thank you so much for the beautiful watch – I must start a collection. PPS: Sorry for breaking your crystal.)

Yvon – July 29, 2007:

As soon as I typed your name I began to cry. You were such a great friend. Not just me, but the world lost a great person the day we lost you. I may have never shown it, or shown it enough, but I truly loved you and will miss you dearly. I learned so much from you about love, generosity, compassion, optimism, and... Well... Russian Martial Arts and how I’ll NEVER participate in that. You were a truly selfless and generous person. I’d give anything to have another fight with you, just so we could hug and make up the next day. I’ve not gone a day without thinking about you in the past month. I see you several times a day, and dream about you most nights. I hope you are well. I hope you are relaxing. I love you; Always will. Please know that we’ll always be on your side. We know the truth, and have always believed you. We’ll keep you alive in our hearts forever.

M & M – September 01, 2007:

I simply cannot wait for this weekend. It’s funny how you keep coming back into my life. You are such a beautiful person, and can’t even begin to say how happy I am that you and your Prince Charming are finally coming together. It’s been a long time coming. Congratulations. I’ll see you Saturday.

From Bitter Searching Of The Heart.

Well, I’ve finally gone and done it. You’ve all heard me talking the talk for a good while now, but it if now official.

I am enrolled at Ryerson University in Toronto. September 10th will see me in a classroom, for the first time in almost 11 years. September 10th is my first day of school, and my first day as part of their Non-Profit & Voluntary Sector Management Program. On September 10th, Lancey is wenting to skool!

Not that I want to talk myself up or anything, but I’m pretty fucking proud of myself. For the past year and a half I’ve been trying to get my Métis status in order so that I could apply for grants (As you may well know, I don’t have a spare $4000 lying around that I could have used). Well, I’ve received very little (read: no) help from the guy that I’ve been waiting on, so I just said, ‘Screw it!’ I’m just going to take this one course at a time. Until I can get a grant, I will just pay for my classes and books one at a time, with any spare tips and cash.

I’ve been trying so hard for the past year and a half to get into the Non-Profit Sector, but nobody would look at my resume. Even though I have excellent experience in management, public relations, trade shows, education, etc (not to mention an intense passion), when you boil it down, I’m a hairdresser. That’s all I’ve done for a decade and I think people wouldn’t look past that.

So here I go. I’m taking this one step at a time, and on my way to saving the world! Fuck anyone who says it can’t be done. Every journey starts with a single step... or some shit like that.

In the magnificent words of Leonard Cohen:

From bitter searching of the heart,

Quickened with passion and with pain

We rise to play a greater part.

This is the faith from which we start:

Men shall know commonwealth again

From bitter searching of the heart.

We loved the easy and the smart,

But now, with keener hand and brain,

We rise to play a greater part.

The lesser loyalties depart,

And neither race nor creed remain

From bitter searching of the heart.

Not steering by the venal chart

That tricked the mass for private gain,

We rise to play a greater part.

Reshaping narrow law and art

Whose symbols are the millions slain,

From bitter searching of the heart

We rise to play a greater part.

-Villanelle For Our Time

I WILL rise... to play a better part. I’ll be damned if I will die and be remembered for being just a hairstylist.

I will make change.