Seven Days of Christmas Songs: Days 4 & 5

Christmas is full of tradition.

There’s family.

There’s presents.

Children.

Santa.

Holiday parties.

Snow.

These things are synonymous with Christmas. Every year, these are the things we think about during the last week of December. 2006 is no different. That is, of course, if you live anywhere else but Toronto, Ontario.

Rain! Fucking rain has been pouring on us for two days now. Ugly grey clouds and, at best, a light mist. We’ve been soaking wet since yesterday, and it does not look like it’s going to let up.

I have never, in all my 28 Christmases, had to live through a grey Christmas. Its supposed to be white. Walking through a white, fluffy blanket of snow-cover with all your bags and treasures in tow. In all truth, every Christmas day in memory has had snowfall. I can’t think of a time when I opened presents without looking out to individual snowflakes falling onto the window pane.

This rain is really getting me down and the weather forecast is not helping. There is tell that there may be snow on Monday night, but until then it is just gonna piss rain. And I don’t even believe that there will be snow. I think that the weather channel just lies to us and tells us such things so that we don’t jump off the viaduct.

And so I offer you this song. This song is covering two days, because there has been two days of stupid rain. You all know the words; if you are here in southern Ontario, please sing along. If you are elsewhere, please pray that we get a little bit of white goodness. (note that I have written my own alternate lyrics… poor rhyming aside… that are in brackets)

White Christmas

The sun is shining, the grass is green
The orange and palm trees sway
(The birch and willow trees sway)
There's never been such a day
In Beverly Hills, LA
(In Our Lovely G.T.A.)
But it's December the 24th
And I'm longing to be up north

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know.
Where the treetops glisten,
And children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write.
May your days be merry and bright.
And may all your Christmases be white.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write.
May your days be merry and bright.
And may all your Christmases be white.

(Lyrics by Irving Berlin 1942)