I Don't Want To Die. Pt:2

The second time I ceased to live was two years later.

Now, I must admit, I was really looking forward to this surgery. Honestly. For several reasons:
1: No more hospital visits.
2: Cool scar! A very very very cool scar.
3: Free trip to Edmonton (Hey, it was a vacation from Yellowknife)
4: Only kid in my ENTIRE school that would have had open heart surgery. I was going to be, like, the coolest thing going.
5: If this surgery was a success, I would not need to get a pacemaker.

My mother and I departed the plane and headed to The Ronald McDonald House. After checking into our room I ran down to the rec. room.

Oh
My
God!
They
Have
A
NINTENDO!!!!!!!

The next day we went to the University of Alberta Hospital. This is when I checked in there and met Dr. Penkoskie; a tall woman with long, curly, red hair. That is all I remember about her. That… and she saved my life.

I woke up bright and early on November 29, 1989 (17 years from yesterday). The anaesthesiologist came in to give me a cherry flavoured anaesthetic and asked me to count backwards from 10. “10… 9… 8…7… I don’t think it’s working I don’t feel sleepy. What if I…ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

I feel groggy. There’s something in my nose and I can’t move to find out what it is. Back to sleep…
Awake again. Still groggy. Still not able to move, but I can vaguely see a lot of red hair. More sleep…
Awake. Hey, is that mom? I try saying, ‘Mom, you look worried’ but no words come out. I’ll just sleep a little longer…
Awake. I really have to pee. Now able to talk, I tell the nurse. She explains to me how a catheter works (a long tube stuck up your pee hole into you bladder). I’m not sure if I just fell back asleep, or fainted.

After a few days (I assume, but I’m really not sure) in the ICU, I was sent back to paediatrics. Mom presented me with all my homework and letters from all my classmates. A few days back at Ronald McDonald House (Nintendo! Nintendo! Nintendo!) and then we were on our way home… thankfully, with no memory of what had actually happened.

During my sleep on the operating table, once the surgery was complete and they were checking vitals (or something like that), my heart decided it wanted the break and stopped. Once again, I flat-lined. No heartbeat, no breathing, nothing. I was dead… again. “PADDLES! CLEAR!” Nothing.

“Clear!” Nothing.
“CLEAR!” Again… nothing.

Apparently, this went on long enough to be scary. Apparently, this went on for longer that what can be considered ‘usual’ after a surgery. Apparently, Dr. Penkoskie feared she was going to lose me… as scared as all the other doctors and nurses in the room.

Just about the time that I would become a lost cause, a noise echoed in the room.

Beep…

Beep…

Beep…

I was back.

That Christmas, I was given a Nintendo.

************************************

Two years later, while watching some show on out of body experiences, Mom asked me if I saw “The White Light”.

“What the hell are you talking about? I’ve never been dead.”

That was when she told me I had died… twice. I heard the stories directly from my mother’s calm voice. That woman has a knack for making you feel calm when she tells you stuff like that. She told me in such a way that I did not freak out or get all weird. I just thought, “Neat!”

That night I thought more about it. I thought about drifting in and out of consciousness in the I.C.U. and seeing my mother. She did look worried, and two years later I knew why. She had just heard that I had almost died. Her youngest and most frail little boy almost left her.

Another memory from my grogginess that day; that was the first time I had ever seen my mother cry.