Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Just For Laughs.


What about Britney...
In the Rehab Center...
With the razor?

Or Anna Nicole...
With the...
Oh never mind. Too soon.

Got any other's you can think of?

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Confessions of a Suburban HouseHusband Pt.4: Working Girl

Today I started my new part-time job!

As you know, I have been on a long quest to break into the world of Not-For-Profit / Charity work, but have had very little success. And, of course, by ‘very little success’, I mean no success at all. Over the past 14 months, I have sent out over 40 resumes, with not so much as a bite. And I have been in a 10 month battle to get my Métis Status card reissued (I lost it in NYC three years ago) so that I can apply for grants and such to go to school and study Fundraising & Volunteer Management… and battle is the only word I can think of.

Well, finally, I got my card last week and will be using it to its full advantage, hopefully by the fall. And just the other day I got a call from my dear friend, The Philanthropist and he was offering me a job.

This may only be a temporary position, but it will last at least three months. The possibility is there for this to turn into a bigger position, with more responsibility and more workload, and even a completely different title, but that depends on the next few months.

Right now I will be doing reception/ office coordination/ data entry/ general-office-busy-body things 2 days a week. The position is being reconfigured and we’re gonna work together to see what is needed and not needed from the job and from me. The wage is good (Actually, compared to sitting around the house doing laundry and cooking, the wage if pretty fucking great) and more importantly, I am getting immeasurable experience in an industry that I long to be a part of.

As it was my first day, I’m not sure what it will be turning into, but be sure that you will be hearing more stories in the next few months.

I’m on my way people. A year after I started on this journey, things are starting to happen. Look out.

Birthday with a 'B'!


61 years ago today Liza Minnelli tap danced her way into our hearts and she hasn't been sober since.

Honestly, I jest and poke fun, but it's all harmless. Liza has had such trouble in her life, especially her later years, but she keeps on going. She has such a great stamina and enough endurance to live a thousand lives.

She has quit drinking (“It’s Gatorade... Trust me.”), but the stroke has left her a little worse for wear. Yet years later, I had the chance to see her twice in as many months and she still held her own on the stage. She’s got more energy and pizzazz than most young starlets of our time.

Truly one of the best entertainers of our time, I wish her many more years of fun and laughter.

Happy Birthday Liza.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Time Waster

Sunday nights has a large portion of The Usual Suspects rotating between each others homes watching Grey’s Anatomy and Desperate Housewives. Sure Grey’s was switched to Thursdays, but that’s not a problem for us, as we are probably the only six households left in North America that still own VCR’s.

These are the only two TV shows that I watch. Sure I'm intrigued by "Hero's" and "Lost" and always think I should watch them, but I never get around to it. With the exception of watching TV on DVD (Family Guy, Golden Girls, Quantum Leap, Kids In The Hall, etc) it all comes down to these two.

Anyway, I came across this little time waster via Lisa’s Blog, and thought I’d share it with you.


Take This Quiz to see which of the Grey’s Anatomy girls you are.

I’m Meredith!
You don’t always make the right choices, but you get points for trying, bouncing back, and starting over. For being so “dark and twisty,” you have a surprisingly sunny outlook on life. You’re quick to jump into new relationships but just as quick to jump out. After the example your parents set, learning to trust someone else takes just about everything you’ve got.


Take This Quiz to see which Desperate Housewife you are(If you sign in as a boy, you will be told which housewife you would marry. BORING!)

I'm Susan!

You always mean well, but somehow things don’t always work out as you’d planned. It doesn’t matter. You take your tumbles with good grace and always come up smiling. But try to remember you’re the grown-up in your family.




I’m pretty happy with those results, as I genuinely like and understand each character. However, there is one small problem… they are The Boyfriends LEAST favorite character on each of their respective shows.

Why couldn’t I be Dr. Torres and Bree instead?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Good Idea!

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could.

Some blunders and absurdities crept in. Forget them as soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day; you should begin in serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, March 05, 2007

Welcome to San Fran... uh, I mean Calgary.

Note: This was written last Wednesday, but couldn't post it until today.
**********

Here I am, on an Air Canada Jazz flight from Calgary to Yellowknife, and I still can’t get over lunch. I’m not talking about indigestion here (although I’m not sure a Chili’s Bacon Burger was a wise choice in the middle of a day of flying).

No, I’m talking about how GAY Calgary can be. And the funny thing is; I’m not even sure that Calgary knows it. I should note that my entire argument revolves around the music; not the beauty of the city… or the hair… or the clothing (sweet God- not the clothing!).

I was sitting in ‘Chili’s Texas Style Grill’, trying to waste time on my 2 hour layover. After ordering my burger and sipping my Coke, I discovered myself doing something that I never thought I would do in Calgary, Alberta… I was singing along to the radio.

Ooooo Baby, do you know what that’s worth? Oooo Heaven is a place on earth.” Oh my. Did anyone hear me, or was I just singing into my head. My first thought was that I couldn’t believe how old the music was. How out of date is this radio station, that they are playing Belinda Carlisle’s hit from 198?, during a prime listening time.

Then the next song came over the system.
Bette Middler- Wind Beneath my Wings. Then….
Irene Cara- What A Feeling (Flashdance Theme). Then…
Cyndi Lauper- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Then…
Depeche Mode- Tainted Love. Then…
Kylie Minogue- Locomotion. Then…
B-52s- Love Shack. Then, Finally…
The Clash- Should I Stay, or Should I go. Which had to be the song most closely related to heterosexuality, but I must admit, a song I like singing and dancing along to every time I hear it in a bar.

I sat, contemplating my surroundings, my completed lunch, my looming boarding time, and the songs lyrics and thought, “Should I stay, or should I go.” I figured I had just enough time for a cigarette (Shut up) before getting on my plane so I decided I should go, not stay.

As I’m getting on my jackets (I’m heading to Yellowknife, I need two) the final song that I would be treated to got underway…

Papa, I know you’re going to be upset, ‘cause I was always your little girl”…because, what gay playlist would be complete without a mid-eighty’s hit from our own iconic Material Girl.

It felt like I was at a Drag Show. It was far too kitsch to be unintentional. Far too campy to be accidental. Every song bled into each other with a perfect fluidity. Then I think… I’m in Bloody Calgary! Alberta!

Canada’s Bible-belt. Red Neck County. Belt buckles to rival wrestling champions and 10 Gallon Hats. More pick-up trucks than people. Toronto has Blue Bins everywhere, Calgary has White Trash. What’s with the Fag Discotheque music?

Who knows? An hour and a half into my flight, I still can’t figure it out. My closest guess is that the gay mafia has secretly taken over the radio waves in an attempt to brainwash the Conservative Right into fighting for our rights too. Some big joke we’re playing on Stephen Harper, Stockwell Day, and Ralph Klein.

Watch out boys. If you’re not careful, you might end up in fishnet stockings at a Rocky Horror Picture Show screening, throwing toast at the screen and yelling “SAY IT!”

*****SPECIAL NOTE***** To all my friends in Calgary and the rest of Alberta. I take a little creative license here. I really exercised extremes in this post, but trust that I really don’t feel that poorly against Calgary. It is a pretty city and not everyone is White Trash. I mean, we’re not talking about Red Deer here.